Thursday, January 22, 2009

Why Do I????

OK I know its a strange title, but it is definitely the way I feel today. So lets get started on the WHY DO I questions for the day!

Why do I quilt? Because I felt it was something I could do as well as I sew--especially since both my grandmother and my Mom were both quilters. I figured I could do it! I used to sew together the seams for the blocks they would later finish piecing together, so I should be able to sew together pieces for my own blocks.

Why do I make something so beautiful look so ugly? Quilts are beautiful. Quilts are practical. Quilts are warm. Quilts make you feel like you have love wrapped around you. So why do mine look like crap and they're only in the beginning stages? I KNOW how to sew 1/4" seams. I KNOW how to use a rotary cutter and ruler. I KNOW that these %^&*((*&^%$ points should be lining up but they just simply AREN'T!

Why do I feel like I never should have started these quilts (the YCMT quilt, Calendar quilt, Mixed T quilt--and thank heavens I didn't start on the Summer Mystery quilt, even though I had wanted to)? Oh that's an easy one! My quilts look horrible and the others I've seen are looking great--of the same quilts! If any of you in the swap are reading still, yes, I will be making my mixed T squares and sending them on and I'm sure you will each want to toss them when they are received! I just have very little confidence that mine will be as pretty as the squares you all sew and send.

Why do I blog? Well it started out because I had an online course that it was a requirement to do a blog for. I fell in love with it and I kept it--as I've always been one that loved to sit and write and write and write--just as I talk and talk and talk in person!
Do I expect others to want to read or "follow" my blog? Expect it--no! Surprised by it--yes! Feel flattered that people actually like to read what I write or at least want to see how stupid I can be in a day? Yes!
Will I be one of these that offers awards or prizes or give-aways to someone just to get folks to read my blog? No! If you don't read the blog because you want to, then don't expect me to reward you for sticking around to read it. Besides, you probably wouldn't want anything that I would have or make to give away anyway!
Do I read other blogs because of their prizes and give-aways? Hecky no! I read others blogs 1) to see how their day has been, 2) to check in on the day of someone I know has been ill, 3) to offer encouragement to someone that hasn't been feeling great about themself, 4) to check on the progress of others' quilts and crafts, 5) to see the crazy antics of some of the folks (or their children) because it reminds me so much of my own family, 6) to offer to be a cheering squad for those trying to lose weight (while I'm steadily putting on the pounds no matter what), 7) to see if anyone else is doing or feeling the same thing or way that I am that day, 8) to keep up with people, 9) to meet new people--even if it is just a virtual meeting, 10) to do something other than watch TV!

Why do I feel alone--when I know I have friends? I guess I'm beginning to feel like a hermit. I am losing touch with all those that had always been my really good friends. But I don't have anyone to hang out with--my best friends live hundreds to thousands of miles away from me. Those that have previously been my best friends have found others that they have more in common with or want to be with more than me. Others have other things in their lives that don't have anything to do with whats going on in my life and we have drifted apart or have no reason to "hang out" together. I have the blogging community--but even there I often feel like an outsider. Seems like I'm an outsider everywhere I go anymore.

Why do I continue when no one wants to read this drabble? I guess that's an easy one to answer as well. I don't expect people to want to read it. I just write to get it out of my system to hopefully feel better in the end.

So enough of the purging of the soul. I need to go find some stickers to put in the mail for one of the most beautiful little girls I've found through blogging. She is a 2 year old heartbreaker that has just come home from the hospital from having surgery for hip dysplasia. Her Mom and Dad have been there through it all and I know they are totally exhausted. I just wish I could be there to offer a little relief for them. The little girl, Kaitlyn, loves stickers and her mom was wanting her to be showered in stickers. So I'm off to find some stickers to put in an envelope for her. If you'd like to shower this sweetheart with stickers, go see Jen's blog and her Big Request!


Carlotta said...

Oh Shelly, I've had days like this lots of times. I too have wondered about the quilting problems I have been experiencing. But the lady at our local quilt shop told me on yesterday not to be too hard on myself and that every quilt needs to have at least one mistake. So I'm going with that. And I do know how you feel about the friends thing. As I stated during my honesty session, I have very few friends outside of family. My family does not read my blog, and I startd it for them, and they are not really interested in what I do unless they want me to make something for them. Anyway, I hope you feel better after venting. Thanks for letting me vent. And I too will be sending Lil Kaitlyn some stickers. By the way, where are the pics of your ycmt quilt? I want to see what you've been doing.

Dragon's Dolphin said...

I'll try to get the quilt pics up today. I"m not at all happy with it. I have these huge bulges in the center where all the seams meet. That can't be right can it? I just feel so dumb at this point! Thanks for sending stickers to Kaitlyn. She is absolutely adorable. Don't know why she has taken over my heart--and I've never met her or her parents except through Jennifer's blog. Maybe it has to do with the fact that so many of my students have been through this surgery and I know what she and her family is up against. Thanks for being there for me Carlotta! I really appreciate it. Shelly

Tania said...

I unerstand about the quilts. Mine never line up, but I am not perfect (fasr from it) so I figure why should I expect my quilts , or scrapbook pages, or knitting to be. I make them with love and to me that is all that matters. I will try and dig up some stickers before I go in on Monday and mail them out.

Tania said...

Can you tell I typed that last one in the dark at 2:30 in the morning. Sorry about the misspellings.

~holly said...

i just wanted to say thank you for adding me to your blogroll. (i've been meaning to thank you for a while now--i'm a putz) anyways, i feel so honored that you did. besides family, you are the first person to add me and i'm so honored.

about the quilt pieces, i will be posting my ycmt 6 in squares later today. and as you will see, my points do not, in no way whatsoever, line up. but i think the quirks in the quilts are what make them one of a kinds! and that's why i love homemade things sooooo much. one of a kind rocks.

Dragon's Dolphin said...

Thanks y'all! Y'all make me feel so much better! I was thinking (especially after seeing some of the quilts of Barb and NanaBarb and Rachel) that I was the only one that the points weren't matching. Its nice to know that I DO have support out there for these projects -- and life in general too! I love y'all!